God's Truth In Love

Grief – Suffering All Will Endure – Pt. 8 Stages of Grief / Stage 8

In Advice, Agape Love, Anger, Anxiety, Bible, Biblical Principles, Chrisitan Lifestyle, Christian, Christian Living, Christianity, Depression, Devotional, Encouragement, Exhortation, God, God's Voice, Godliness, Godly Counsel, Grief, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Loss, Love, Prayer, Prophet, Prophetess, Spiritual Fruit, Suffering, Truth, Uncategorized on March 26, 2015 at 5:33 pm

There comes a point within the grief process where the individual who is grieving finds themselves resisting returning to their normal routine, activates, and responsibilities. This resistance might be only slight or it might be significant but the general unwillingness to get on with life typically manifest.

This resistance might manifest as an unwillingness to get dressed, clean the house, run needed errands, attend social events, church, clubs, or exercise. If the resistance manifest in an enormous way a person might refuse to go back to work. All such actions of resistance can have negative consequences, which will only add to the emotional burden of the grieving person.

This unwillingness or hesitancy in returning to normal activities is really about fear, the fear of returning to living. This fear can be driven by concern over how people will respond to the grieving person. The grieving person will fear rejection should they have a desire to talk about their loss. There is also fear associated with encountering something that reminds the griever of the person, persons, relationship, or opportunity they have lost. Additionally, grievers have fear that people have forgotten what they are going through, since other people appear to be returning to their normal routines.

During this stage, it is my personal hope that people have taken the preventive measure mentioned in an earlier part of this series, trying to continue in a normal routine as much as is possible. It is much easier to continue with life than it is to return to life. Once a person’s sits down in their grief or pain for too long it becomes quite difficult to get up once again.

Nevertheless, a person must at some point return to life and business as usual, for life must go on. As Christian friends and family of the grieving person we must, in love, exhort and encourage the grieving individual to return to their normal activities. We must help them face their new reality. Attempting to shelter a person from their new reality and from returning to a normal routine will only hurt them long-term. If we truly love them then we will help them get up and go on with life.

Part of that agape love we need to show them might involve not doing for them, instead of doing for them. By discontinuing taking care of their personal needs, such as house cleaning, shopping, yard maintenance, and cooking we put the responsibility back on them and thus they are forced to get on with life. It is not insensitive to do this, it is necessary for the overall wellbeing of the individual who is grieving. Real love makes some tough choices sometimes.

In the next part of this series, part nine, we will take a break from the stages of grief to address the earlier mentioned verses in the Book of Job, gleaning their insights on the issue of grief, before we begin to cover the last two stages of grief, the healing stages.



Spiritual/Political Disclaimer:

This blog will not be for the faint of heart or the easily offended. It will not be in any way politically correct. It will make every effort to share the truth in love, [Ephesians 4:11-16], to a decaying and dying society and church. I share what I share not to hurt, harm, or offend any person[s] or group; I do it because Christ’s Standard and Truth is not being represented by enough of His Followers and I do it out of love. I love enough to tell His Truth.

Ephesians 4:11-16 NKJV

11And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— 16from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.


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