Over the last few posts we have taken a look at the GOD growth in individuals and families during the pandemic. Today we take on the matter of growth in the couple relationship. I use the term GOD growth because God wants to bring about change in people that draws them closer to Him and that causes them to implement His Principles regardless of whether or not they have come to trust in Him for their salvation as of yet or not. God is about seeing His Will and His Principles come about in our society, in our homes, and in us personally before and after we enter that personal relationship with Him.
Questions to ponder. Why do people find it easier to bad mouth their significant other or spouse rather than express openly to other people what they like about the person? Why are their negative traits a more interesting topic of discussion than their positive traits? Society presents the idea that to complain about your spouse is funny and entertaining, but is it really? Why does society want to perpetuate the idea that loving relationships are rare and so hard to come by?
Locked down, locked up, with your spouse during COVID-19; now this will make or break a marriage. When there is only the two of you, no children, no other distractions, you find out really quick whether or not you are just two ships passing in the night or two hovercrafts rotating around each other but never really coming in contact, not true contact. I believe if you went through this last year together primarily in lockdown and you still actually want to be together you might actually have a pretty solid relationship.
When we are alone with someone day in and day out, with them and with no one else, we see everything about them that we perhaps did not notice or that at other times are they were better able to hide. Especially during a crisis like the pandemic, we see their fears emerge, we see their insecurities at large, we see their compassion or lack thereof on display, we see their generosity and love or their selfishness and hatefulness. We talk to them more; we find out more about what makes them tick. We explore with them their hopes and dreams because when you are in a situation like we are in during this pandemic, locked down at home primarily, you cannot endlessly ignore the only other person in your spear, in your world for that matter for the most part, and you cannot talk about nothing nonsense forever. So eventually you dig down to what really matters, and that is when you begin to draw close to one another.
In this time of couple reflection many were able to find out how loved and cared for they made their spouse feel and the ways in which they did that. Also, they might have found out the ways in which they do not make their spouse feel loved and cared for and what they could do about it to change the negative impact on the relationship. For many it was a time of realigning the relationship and finding once again common goals and dreams.
A marriage is a covenant relationship. When someone badmouths their spouse for fun and the entertainment of people, they are betraying that covenant. What you speak about your spouse affect how you feel about your spouse. Your spoken words have a powerful effect on you and other people. People should rarely if ever hear from you what you believe to be “wrong” with your spouse or so my parents who believed in absolute loyalty taught me, just as the Bible teaching not to speak negative or harsh words (curses) against people. I have never found it entertaining to hear people teardown their spouse, and from what I have heard from other people they too think it terrible to listen to someone else do so, thinking badly of the person who is badmouthing their spouse, even if they themselves have been guilty of likewise at times.
I believe the select few in society who are not willing to do the work needed for a loving caring relationship like to perpetuate the idea that loving caring relationships are so terribly difficult to come by, in order to make themselves feel better about their own lack. Let them live in their isolation and loneliness, do not get sucked in, value the relationship you have and act like you do.
I want to close each of this series of postings with a quote from the original post, “COVID-19 – God and Man at Work.”
“Blessings from God are not just material or financial, more often the greater ones (blessings) are intangible such as growth and change.”
God's Truth in Love 