God's Truth In Love

Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category

How Do We Make Godly Decisions? – Study of Proverbs 12:4 Crown His Head or Rot His Bones

In Agape Love, Behavior, Christian Lifestyle, Christian Living, Couples, Discernment, Discretion, Disunity, Divorce, Femininity, Feminism, Godliness, Honor, Husbands, Lifestyle, Love, Marriage, Proverbs, Renewal, Righteous Living, Righteousness, Truth, Wisdom, Wives, Women on September 14, 2023 at 1:32 pm

The Scripture passages are identified with bold upright font and the author’s notes are identified with italic regular font.

Note – All words or phrases found in quotation marks are actual parts of the Hebrew or Greek definition(s).

4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Crown His Head or Rot His Bones

Okay ladies buckle up, as this is probably one of the toughest verses in Scripture for a woman, aside from ‘submit to your own husband as unto the Lord’ Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18.

Author Note:

You really have to connect the meaning of each of the words in the writing below to truly understand the impact of what this verse means. My recommendation would be to skip ahead and read the Hebrew meanings listed below then come back and read the piece in its entirety, including the word meanings a second time.

“virtuous” in the Hebrew language is defined as:

2428. חַיִל chayil, khah’-yil; from 2342; prob. a force, whether of men, means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valor, strength:— able, activity, (+) army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host, might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, (+) valiant (-ly), valour, virtuous (-ly), war, worthy (-ily).

“virtue” the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary first definition is as follows:

1 a : conformity to a standard of right : MORALITY b : a particular moral excellence

To be virtuous as a woman is to be a godly woman, and a godly woman follows the Standard set by God, seeking and following the Will, Ways, and Purposes of God. There is no way around the Truth of what it means to be a virtuous woman. She is “a force, a means or resource of strength” both for her husband and herself. She conducts her actions with “valor” for “good” using her “might, power, riches, strength, and substance” in the pursuit of what is “worthy” in God’s eyes. She has a “standard of right” and “morality” and she lives with “excellence” by that standard, God’s Standard. In so doing this she becomes a great asset in life to her husband.

“crown” is defined as the following in the Hebrew language: .

5850. עֲטָרָה ˓ăârâh, at-aw-raw’; from 5849; a crown:— crown.

5849. עָטַר ˓âar, aw-tar’; a prim. root; to encircle (for attack or protection); espec. to crown (lit. or fig.):— compass, crown

That asset that she becomes to her husband is a “crown” that they both wear. It is what brings the respect of his peers and business associates to him. A woman’s virtue is an actual “figurative crown” that “encircles” her husband, which gives him the strength when needed “for attack” from their enemies, and at other times provides “protection” from attack, disgrace, shame, embarrassment, trouble, etc.

An unvirtuous woman is the exact opposite, She brings trouble, stress, embarrassment, disgrace, attack, shame, hardship, etc. on her husband.

“ashamed” in the Hebrew is defined as:

954. בּוּשׁ bûwsh, boosh; a prim. root; prop. to pale, i.e. by impl. to be ashamed; also (by impl.) to be disappointed, or delayed:— (be, make, bring to, cause, put to, with, a-) shamed (-d), be (put to) confounded (-fusion), become dry, delay, be long.

Her unvirtuous conduct causes him “to pale”(lose respect) in the sight of his peers. She will cause her husband “to be ashamed” of her, himself, and even the fact that he married her. She will cause him “to be disappointed” in her and having married her. She may well be the cause of why his career or advancement in life has been “delayed” or halted altogether. A woman’s sinful behavior causes her husband to become “confounded” and brings “confusion” on so many levels for her husband. A woman’s conduct greatly effects and affects the life, health, and wellbeing of her husband.

Thus, she becomes a “rottenness” to his life (bones).

“rottenness” in the Hebrew language is defined as:

7538. רָקָב râqâb, raw-kawb’; from 7537; decay (by caries):— rottenness (thing).

7537. רָקַב râqab, raw-kab’; a prim. root; to decay (as by worm-eating):— rot.

“caries” means cavities of decay.

This “rottenness” will eat away at every aspect of a man’s life like “worm-eating” until its “decay” has ruined him in almost every conceivable way; mentally, vocationally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Men put up a very strong front but a wife has such a substantial impact on her husband whether he allows it to show or not.

“bones” is defined in the Hebrew as:

6106. עֶצֶם ˓etsem, eh’tsem; from 6105; a bone (as strong); by extens. the body; fig. the substance, i.e. (as pron.) selfsame:— body, bone, × life, (self-) same, strength, × very.

6105. עָצַם ˓âtsam, aw-tsam’; a prim. root; to bind fast, i.e. close (the eyes); intr. to be (caus. make) powerful or numerous; denom. (from 6106) to crunch the bones:— break the bones, close, be great, be increased, be (wax) mighty (-ier), be more, shut, be (-come, make) strong (-er).

Her unvirtuous conduct eats away at the very ‘strength of his bones’ while at the same time eating away at “the substance of his self (selfsame)” and his “strength” in every area. Left unchecked it destroys his “life” and sense of “self” it is an incredibly “powerful” force.

Women, you have incredible power. Will you use it for good or evil where your husband is concerned? Will you be virtuous and bring life to both of you or will you be unvirtuous and bring death to both of you?

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Spiritual/Political Disclaimer:

This blog will not be for the faint of heart or the easily offended. It will not be in any way politically correct. It will make every effort to share the truth in love, [Ephesians 4:11-16], to a decaying and dying society and church. I share what I share not to hurt, harm, or offend any person[s] or group; I do it because Christ’s Standard and Truth is not being represented by enough of His Followers, and I do it out of love. I love enough to tell His Truth.

Ephesians 4:11-16 NKJV

11And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— 16from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

GOD Growth in COVID-19 / Couples Growth

In Adultery, Agape Love, Biblical Principles, Christian Lifestyle, Christian Living, Christianity, Contentment, Coronavirus, Coronavirus/COVID-19, Couples, COVID-19, Disunity, Divorce, Godliness, Learning, Lifestyle, Love, Marriage, Renewal, Repentance, Revival, Righteous Living, Righteousness, Uncategorized, Unity, Wisdom on April 2, 2021 at 8:33 am

Over the last few posts we have taken a look at the GOD growth in individuals and families during the pandemic. Today we take on the matter of growth in the couple relationship. I use the term GOD growth because God wants to bring about change in people that draws them closer to Him and that causes them to implement His Principles regardless of whether or not they have come to trust in Him for their salvation as of yet or not. God is about seeing His Will and His Principles come about in our society, in our homes, and in us personally before and after we enter that personal relationship with Him.

Questions to ponder. Why do people find it easier to bad mouth their significant other or spouse rather than express openly to other people what they like about the person? Why are their negative traits a more interesting topic of discussion than their positive traits? Society presents the idea that to complain about your spouse is funny and entertaining, but is it really? Why does society want to perpetuate the idea that loving relationships are rare and so hard to come by?

Locked down, locked up, with your spouse during COVID-19; now this will make or break a marriage. When there is only the two of you, no children, no other distractions, you find out really quick whether or not you are just two ships passing in the night or two hovercrafts rotating around each other but never really coming in contact, not true contact. I believe if you went through this last year together primarily in lockdown and you still actually want to be together you might actually have a pretty solid relationship.

When we are alone with someone day in and day out, with them and with no one else, we see everything about them that we perhaps did not notice or that at other times are they were better able to hide. Especially during a crisis like the pandemic, we see their fears emerge, we see their insecurities at large, we see their compassion or lack thereof on display, we see their generosity and love or their selfishness and hatefulness. We talk to them more; we find out more about what makes them tick. We explore with them their hopes and dreams because when you are in a situation like we are in during this pandemic, locked down at home primarily, you cannot endlessly ignore the only other person in your spear, in your world for that matter for the most part, and you cannot talk about nothing nonsense forever. So eventually you dig down to what really matters, and that is when you begin to draw close to one another.

In this time of couple reflection many were able to find out how loved and cared for they made their spouse feel and the ways in which they did that. Also, they might have found out the ways in which they do not make their spouse feel loved and cared for and what they could do about it to change the negative impact on the relationship. For many it was a time of realigning the relationship and finding once again common goals and dreams.

A marriage is a covenant relationship. When someone badmouths their spouse for fun and the entertainment of people, they are betraying that covenant. What you speak about your spouse affect how you feel about your spouse. Your spoken words have a powerful effect on you and other people. People should rarely if ever hear from you what you believe to be “wrong” with your spouse or so my parents who believed in absolute loyalty taught me, just as the Bible teaching not to speak negative or harsh words (curses) against people. I have never found it entertaining to hear people teardown their spouse, and from what I have heard from other people they too think it terrible to listen to someone else do so, thinking badly of the person who is badmouthing their spouse, even if they themselves have been guilty of likewise at times.

I believe the select few in society who are not willing to do the work needed for a loving caring relationship like to perpetuate the idea that loving caring relationships are so terribly difficult to come by, in order to make themselves feel better about their own lack. Let them live in their isolation and loneliness, do not get sucked in, value the relationship you have and act like you do.

I want to close each of this series of postings with a quote from the original post, “COVID-19 – God and Man at Work.”

“Blessings from God are not just material or financial, more often the greater ones (blessings) are intangible such as growth and change.”