There is one school of belief that states there are five stages of grief and there is another school of belief that maintains there are ten stages of grief. I believe ten stages to be much more reasonable and realistic.

The first stage of grief is shock, that sense of disbelief and bewilderment.

During the “shock stage” of grief, much of the mind, soul, and emotional functioning shuts down to a certain degree to insulate itself from something it finds too unbearable. While in the stage of shock the mind and soul is able to comprehend slowly the reality of the situation with which the person is faced. This slow process is in my belief a form of God’s protection as He adjusts the person’s spirit and overall being to their new circumstances. God created mankind’s bodies and He knows there is only so much emotional (soul) pain a person can endure without becoming mentally derailed completely, so He provided the state of shock.

Shock happens regardless of whether or not someone expected the loss to take place, such as in the case of the death of a loved one who has been ill for a long time with a terminal illness or in the case of a divorce that one has known was inevitable for a long time. Just because someone has the knowledge that something is going to happen does not mean his or her minds are prepared for the reality of the loss once it actually takes place.

Denial kicks in pretty quickly after a loss takes place and can last for a long period of time. It is hard for someone to grasp fully that a relationship is over, a dream is gone, or someone they have loved dearly is dead. This is when the sense of unreality takes place and the person begins to feel numb or numbness about the situation. This emotional and mental numbness can last for hours, days, weeks, or sadly, in some cases it drags on for years, which is very mentally and emotionally dangerous.

Not being able to fully grasp or face the full enormity of a loss is God’s anesthetic against the pain of overwhelming loss. Therefore shock is a stage of grief people should welcome and allow other individuals to fully experience in order to process their loss in a healthy manner. The best thing a godly person can do for someone in the early stages of shock is not to overwhelm them with questions, requests, or smothering comfort. Being close by, available, keeping an eye out for the person to assure they do not wonder into danger, and praying for the person, for them not with them as they might not be equipped or prepared to pray initially, is the best course of action in these early stages of shock.

As stated earlier long-term shock can be very unhealthy mentally and emotionally. Therefore, in the case of long-term shock or mental and emotional numbness that has gone on for months or years the best thing a godly person can for an individual in this situation is to urge them to seek godly counsel so they can deal with their unhealthy state of denial and move on.

In the next part of this series, we will address stage two of grief.

Spiritual/Political Disclaimer:

This blog will not be for the faint of heart or the easily offended. It will not be in any way politically correct. It will make every effort to share the truth in love, [Ephesians 4:11-16], to a decaying and dying society and church. I share what I share not to hurt, harm, or offend any person[s] or group; I do it because Christ’s Standard and Truth is not being represented by enough of His Followers and I do it out of love. I love enough to tell His Truth.

Ephesians 4:11-16 NKJV

¹¹And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, ¹²for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, ¹³till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; ¹⁴that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, ¹⁵but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— ¹⁶from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.