God's Truth In Love

Why My Church is NOT Growing – Part 9 – Abuse and The Church (Mental and Emotional Abuse)

In Abuse, Advice, Anger, Anxiety, Apostasy, Christian Living, Church Growth, Confusion, Depression, Exhortation, Grief, Hate, Hatred, Persecution, Renewal, Repentance, Spiritual Activism, Spiritual Activists, Suffering, Trust, Truth, Uncategorized on August 22, 2018 at 9:00 am

This blog will alternate with each post between two subjects. One week will address why churches are not growing, and the coming move of God. The alternate week the blog will continue with the in-depth study through the Book of Proverbs.

Mental abuse is much more subtle. Harder to spot and much harder to get help with once realized. This type of abuse can be found in the hard and harsh corrections, which have gone in the name of Christ. Abuses disguised either as a form of church discipline or under the guise of being motivated and directed by God to correct a person and proceeding to do so in a horribly cruel manner. Threats and insinuations that are meant to wound more than help. Often bringing about confusion and despair to the hearer instead of repentance, help, and healing.

Yes, there are times when a harsh or hard to listen to Word is spoken in the name of Christ for the edification of the Body of Christ. These postings is one of those times. However, when that word leaves the hearer[s] mentally beaten and bloody with no hope for or direction to change it is useless and can even be an instrument of the devil to further damage the church.

Shunning when used improperly, which it often is, is very much a form of mental and emotional abuse. People look to their local congregations, as a source of community, which they should, and it should be. However, if someone with enough clout and persuasion becomes displeased with a person they can sow seeds of discord with other people and bring about a shunning or rejection of this person. Rejection by a person’s Christian Community can be extremely emotionally and mentally damaging. The Church is Christ representative on earth and we should seek reconciliation and unity. Using rejection as a form of manipulation in order to get what we want from another brings shame on the Body of Christ. Sowing seed of discord through gossip is sinful behavior, which Scripture condemns (Prov. 6:14,19 and 1 Tim. 5:13).

Gossip is a hideous form of emotional abuse. Gossip is a huge problem in any group but is deeply rooted in the Christian Community. People find it easier to talk about people than to talk to people when they feel threatened or concerned. If you carefully examine the content and nature of gossip you find that the gossiper is feeling quite threatened by the person, about which they are gossiping. Often these feeling of intimidation are not realistic or warranted but it is hard to get the gossiper to understand that truth. They must tear the other person down, so they can feel better.

Additionally, you have the classic, ‘I share this, so we might pray for…’ gossipers. I have never had one of these people ask me when they were done sharing their information if we could pray right now for that person. I have my doubts whether they have ever prayed for that person. I find it is best, and I have gotten to where, I cut these people off immediately when they first begin to attempt the conversation. Most of the time the agenda is not one you want to share in.

Emotional abuse can come in other forms as well. Manipulation is a common form of emotional abuse. People have a very tough time being forthright about their wants, needs, and desires. Instead, they choose various forms of manipulation to get what they want. From something as subtle as asking leading questions to find out what one wants to know, instead of asking directly, to acts of extreme manipulation such as attempting to interfere behind someone back and rearrange their circumstances for their own good. These types of manipulations leave people emotionally scarred by the treatment.

Next, we will address spiritual abuse. In my view the worse possible form of abuse found within the Christian community, as to affect someone spiritually is to enter God’s area and sphere of influence and sinning against a person in this area is by far the worse.

Spiritual/Political Disclaimer:

This blog will not be for the faint of heart or the easily offended. It will not be in any way politically correct. It will make every effort to share the truth in love, [Ephesians 4:11-16], to a decaying and dying society and church. I share what I share not to hurt, harm, or offend any person[s] or group; I do it because Christ’s Standard and Truth is not being represented by enough of His Followers, and I do it out of love. I love enough to tell His Truth.

Ephesians 4:11-16 NKJV

11And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— 16from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

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