Truth in Love – blog entry

Friday, May 17, 2013

This will be my last blog post before I start a series called “Remnant of God” [please refer to the post by the same title] which will address who the truly called of God are verse whom most of society believe them to be. The series will explore who they are, their purpose, how God works in their lives, what they can expect in life, the greater way in which they should function, and God’s overall intent for allowing their victories, sorrows, successes and failures [better defined as perceived failures].

The series will include and make room for Q & A with the readers. Please send your questions via the comment link at the end of each post. I will attempt to simply incorporated the answer[s] into a blog post or out rightly post the question and answer. Be assured however, that no person’s identity will ever be revealed in answering any question.

Now to the current entry “Forgiveness and Relationships”

Regarding forgiveness in a relationship, two things are unwise.

1 – We never inform people we have forgiven them when they have not acknowledged in some form that they believe they have done us wrong.

2 – We never ask forgiveness for something someone does not know we have done to him or her.

Why?

Scenario #1 – By going to someone and informing them that we forgive them we are essentially telling them that they have done us wrong. They may or may not have realized they have harmed us but either way they most likely do not want to hear about it or they would have sought forgiveness.

Scenario #2 – If someone has no knowledge and is going to have no knowledge that you have harmed them or done something to them, which might be hurtful; then asking them to forgive you is only going to expose them to hurt. I heard a good example of this years ago from an older woman. Her example went something like this. ‘If a spouse has cheated on their spouse, the fling or affair has ended, there are no legal or medical ramification from the situation, no one know about the affair, the relationship is in the past, and the spouse has no knowledge it ever happened nor have they inquired about your faithfulness. To confess the affair to the spouse and ask forgiveness is only going to burden them with unnecessary pain.’ As this older and wiser woman put it, ‘Confession of something someone will most likely never know under the guiles of seeking forgiveness is more about unburdening one’s own guilt and thus forces another person to carry the pain you have caused. It is not wise, it is not a loving act of seeking forgiveness, and it does not make for healthy relationships.’

Spiritual/Political Disclaimer:

This blog will not be for the faint of heart or the easily offended. It will not be in any way politically correct. It will make every effort to share the truth in love, [Ephesians 4:11-16], to a decaying and dying society and church. I share what I share not to hurt, harm, or offend any person[s] or group; I do it because Christ’s Standard and Truth is not being represented by enough of His Followers and I do it out of love. I love enough to tell His Truth.

Ephesians 4:11-16 NKJV

¹¹And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, ¹²for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, ¹³till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; ¹⁴that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, ¹⁵but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— ¹⁶from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.