The Scripture passages are identified with bold upright font and the author’s notes are identified with italic regular font.
Note – All words or phrases found in quotation marks are actual parts of the Hebrew or Greek definition(s).
4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Crown His Head or Rot His Bones
Okay ladies buckle up, as this is probably one of the toughest verses in Scripture for a woman, aside from ‘submit to your own husband as unto the Lord’ Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18.
Author Note:
You really have to connect the meaning of each of the words in the writing below to truly understand the impact of what this verse means. My recommendation would be to skip ahead and read the Hebrew meanings listed below then come back and read the piece in its entirety, including the word meanings a second time.
“virtuous” in the Hebrew language is defined as:
2428. חַיִל chayil, khah’-yil; from 2342; prob. a force, whether of men, means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valor, strength:— able, activity, (+) army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host, might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, (+) valiant (-ly), valour, virtuous (-ly), war, worthy (-ily).
“virtue” the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary first definition is as follows:
1 a : conformity to a standard of right : MORALITY b : a particular moral excellence
To be virtuous as a woman is to be a godly woman, and a godly woman follows the Standard set by God, seeking and following the Will, Ways, and Purposes of God. There is no way around the Truth of what it means to be a virtuous woman. She is “a force, a means or resource of strength” both for her husband and herself. She conducts her actions with “valor” for “good” using her “might, power, riches, strength, and substance” in the pursuit of what is “worthy” in God’s eyes. She has a “standard of right” and “morality” and she lives with “excellence” by that standard, God’s Standard. In so doing this she becomes a great asset in life to her husband.
“crown” is defined as the following in the Hebrew language: .
5850. עֲטָרָה ˓ăṭârâh, at-aw-raw’; from 5849; a crown:— crown.
5849. עָטַר ˓âṭar, aw-tar’; a prim. root; to encircle (for attack or protection); espec. to crown (lit. or fig.):— compass, crown
That asset that she becomes to her husband is a “crown” that they both wear. It is what brings the respect of his peers and business associates to him. A woman’s virtue is an actual “figurative crown” that “encircles” her husband, which gives him the strength when needed “for attack” from their enemies, and at other times provides “protection” from attack, disgrace, shame, embarrassment, trouble, etc.
An unvirtuous woman is the exact opposite, She brings trouble, stress, embarrassment, disgrace, attack, shame, hardship, etc. on her husband.
“ashamed” in the Hebrew is defined as:
954. בּוּשׁ bûwsh, boosh; a prim. root; prop. to pale, i.e. by impl. to be ashamed; also (by impl.) to be disappointed, or delayed:— (be, make, bring to, cause, put to, with, a-) shamed (-d), be (put to) confounded (-fusion), become dry, delay, be long.
Her unvirtuous conduct causes him “to pale”(lose respect) in the sight of his peers. She will cause her husband “to be ashamed” of her, himself, and even the fact that he married her. She will cause him “to be disappointed” in her and having married her. She may well be the cause of why his career or advancement in life has been “delayed” or halted altogether. A woman’s sinful behavior causes her husband to become “confounded” and brings “confusion” on so many levels for her husband. A woman’s conduct greatly effects and affects the life, health, and wellbeing of her husband.
Thus, she becomes a “rottenness” to his life (bones).
“rottenness” in the Hebrew language is defined as:
7538. רָקָב râqâb, raw-kawb’; from 7537; decay (by caries):— rottenness (thing).
7537. רָקַב râqab, raw-kab’; a prim. root; to decay (as by worm-eating):— rot.
“caries” means cavities of decay.
This “rottenness” will eat away at every aspect of a man’s life like “worm-eating” until its “decay” has ruined him in almost every conceivable way; mentally, vocationally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Men put up a very strong front but a wife has such a substantial impact on her husband whether he allows it to show or not.
“bones” is defined in the Hebrew as:
6106. עֶצֶם ˓etsem, eh’tsem; from 6105; a bone (as strong); by extens. the body; fig. the substance, i.e. (as pron.) selfsame:— body, bone, × life, (self-) same, strength, × very.
6105. עָצַם ˓âtsam, aw-tsam’; a prim. root; to bind fast, i.e. close (the eyes); intr. to be (caus. make) powerful or numerous; denom. (from 6106) to crunch the bones:— break the bones, close, be great, be increased, be (wax) mighty (-ier), be more, shut, be (-come, make) strong (-er).
Her unvirtuous conduct eats away at the very ‘strength of his bones’ while at the same time eating away at “the substance of his self (selfsame)” and his “strength” in every area. Left unchecked it destroys his “life” and sense of “self” it is an incredibly “powerful” force.
Women, you have incredible power. Will you use it for good or evil where your husband is concerned? Will you be virtuous and bring life to both of you or will you be unvirtuous and bring death to both of you?
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Ephesians 4:11-16 NKJV
11And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— 16from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.
God's Truth in Love 